When Things Don’t Feel Quite Right

Seems to happen when I feel like I’m being stretched too thing…ironically, I’m the one who does the stretching! No one else…

I was talking with my husband last night about it…my brain just seems full all the time. But it’s full of things that coming and going. I can really only focus on the task at hand. I can’t seem to spend any time outside of the present focusing on what is going on in the present.

I know that I need to spend more time planning for school…how do you think I know that? I’m dreaming about lesson plans and things going right but mostly wrong in my classes. I’m starting the panic again that I’m not doing enough or good enough. That kids aren’t learning. That we’re getting behind.

But when I leave school I just can’t seem to find my way back in my mental state. When I leave school, I also seem to leave my school thoughts there. When I left my friends this weekend, I feel like I left my friend thoughts there. Thankfully they were prolonged a touch by my friend, Brenna, who drove back with me…but I can’t seem to spend any time thinking about them otherwise. When I talk to my mom in the mornings, my thoughts are there, but I can’t spend any other brain power outside to mull over other things.

I’m perpetually stuck in the present.

This also comes up with knitting. I can’t seem to think about other knitting except for when I’m actually knitting. I’m having a hard time making the time to do that. I’m coaching and teaching and trying to be a good wife, daughter, and friend.

I’m not sure my brain could handle both the knit stitches and all the other perpetually present thoughts. I may short out a circuit or something.

So the knitting right now is the Decemberist by Melanie Berg. I’m using Cascade Eco Duo in the most beautiful gray and tan…it’s heavenly soft and I can’t wait to wear it…except that it’s warming up here…but maybe not for long. It can’t seem to make up it’s mind. I think I’m ready for spring though. At least some flip flops.

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2 thoughts on “When Things Don’t Feel Quite Right

  1. Oh my gosh, you are so perfectly describing my brain at the moment too! I spent today listening to member of staff here talk about their maths research, and I honestly couldn’t tell you who spoke about what…Easter holidays soon for you though!

  2. Catherine Pritchard

    It seems to me that you might be helped by looking at mindfulness techniques. i think it is about stilling the mind to focus on living in the moment.

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