The Time That Flies

It’s a thing! I swear! Now if you ask me where the time flies to…I’m not sure, but it isn’t here any more! It is mid-July. I am feeling recovered from the school year. In fact, yesterday I went to the school’s webpage and a few of my students’ pictures were on the page. I had to actually stop and think very hard about a few of their names. It’s amazing what the brain will “dump” when the necessity is gone πŸ™‚

I’ve taken a few classes this summer and helped out some at a summer camp. Jordan and I are gearing up for a vacation to South Dakota very soon. I’ve finished several projects and now I need to sort out my knitting to take on this trip!

One of the fun things that has been released from my needles is Nora’s Harvest Cardigan!

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Just in time for her 7th birthday. I knit the 7-8 size and its a little big. Which is perfect since it’s JULY and a zillion degrees…who wants to wear a sweater now!? Regardless, she loved it. That made my heart sing. Her favorite is the rainbow around the bottom hem πŸ™‚

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I finished the Bootstrap Socks which have been kickin’ around for about 3 years.

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A few hats, a baby sweater…I’ve got a few more in the works. Seems like all my friends are expecting.

In other news, I completed a Whole30! I didn’t die. In fact, I feel pretty good! I’m still slowly re-introducing foods, but mostly eating Whole30. I’ve lost a few pounds. That feels good. It took a while for the “Tiger Blood” to kick in, but now it just feels like everyday.

This summer is scooting by way too fast. I’m hoping to get some planning work for school done before school starts again. Ah…just where did the time go!

❀
Jenna

Homestretch…

That’s where I am!! Tomorrow is my last day at school with students. Technically if my room and everything is ready to go then it’s my last day period. Students or not…of course, I’ve procrastinated some and am not entirely ready to walk out and not come back til August…mentally I’m done. 8th grade had their last day of classes last Friday, making this week relatively stress free. I miss those kids though. It’s crazy…all the prep and work that went in to all of those classes and some of the interactions and discussions that happened were the highlight of my day πŸ™‚ But it is nice to have some quiet time in school to get things done.

***This got lost in my drafts from Thursday…it’s Sunday now. And I’m officially finished with my first year back in the classroom. The first year where I am a married teacher…answering to a different name. It was very strange at first, but now that’s who I see myself as. It’s a good feeling. I also have ONE BILLION things to work on this summer to make sure next year is better.

I’m looking forward to a productive summer. I hope it will be. I keep planning and thinking of all the things to get done and I feel it filling up!! Not in a bad way, but in a productive busy way.

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I’m sitting at my dining room table and I can see my yarn cabinet. It’s calling my name!! I’ve also found out recently that several of my friends are expecting near the end of the year…so knitting mojo needs to be in full swing so I can help welcome their little ones with knitted goodness πŸ™‚ I’ve got this cute little hat going…

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It’s a Simple Baby Cap by Susan B. Anderson out of some Adriafil Knitcol that does all the work for me! I’ve got several balls of this just for baby hats. It’s awesome.

I’ve also almost gotten one sleeve of Nora’s sweater almost complete.

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I’m also inspired to knit my own sweater!! I’d like to fix up the Turia and get it to a place so I can wear it.

I’d also like to rip out my Whispers top that I knit a few years ago…I don’t know why I knit a short sleeve wool “sweater” but it’s too warm for my torso while my arms are cold. I’m not one to wear a vest…I like sleeves!!! I’ve got another skein…maybe I can make it into something wearable πŸ™‚

I could sit here all day and wax poetic about all the yarn that I’m staring at and all the things it could be…but then I’d get absolutely nothing done! Not even any knitting!

I’ll update again soon πŸ™‚
❀
Jenna

That Day When You Can Run Again…

It’s Thursday again! It has been a tough week. I woke up on Saturday with a scratchy throat and no voice…Sunday was the same….Monday I felt like absolute garbage…Tuesday I felt better because I went to bed at 7:00pm Monday night…Wednesday I bought and took some Mucinex MAX…and today…the meds are still going but I feel more like myself. I went for a run. The first time since last Tuesday I’ve run and last Wednesday was the last time I went to the gym…

It is 7:08pm…it would be nice to be in bed but it’s not vital to my survival like it was on Monday. Instead, this is my set up:

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I’m knitting on a white baby hat…it’s a baby size, not a newborn. Their heads don’t stay that small for that long. One of my favorite people has just found out that a tiny human is growing inside and it will be a bit of time before we all find out boy or girl…so I’m knitting a white hat. Plus it will look timeless.

Also there is beer. This is the first time since Sunday I’ve felt good enough to drink beer. that is so sad. Beer is one of my favorite beverages…its on the list of 5 things I drink: coffee, water, tea, beer, sparkling water…sometimes rootbeer in a rootbeer float or perhaps a gin & tonic…but mostly beer if I’m feeling like alcohol. And it’s basically water-beer tonight. But it’s a beer. That’s a step.

School is drawing to a close. Just tomorrow. And 2 more weeks. We need summer. This group of girls I have…it’s like tiptoeing through a mine field! One sideways glance or a gentle scolding for not meeting expectations and suddenly “The teacher HATES me” and “The teacher is SO MAD at me!” I will tell you one thing, it takes a hell of a lot more than what these kids are doing to make me “hate” a person…and for that matter a whole lot more for me to be “mad.” I need to remember…middle school hormones are the worst! Try not to take it personally…but I don’t like being perceived in a way that I don’t mean to be.

Just like here. I want to be real. My life is not all rosy but it isn’t all bad either. I’m by no means living a life without. I’m very grateful. I need to do more to give back.

Sidenote. I’ve been racking my brain trying to come across the instance when I could have portrayed that I “hated” and was “so mad” at this one student…but then I realize I’m sifting through HUNDREDS of interactions I’ve had today with kids!!!!! My day started by taking attendance and greeting students and asking them to get ready and be quiet for the prayer and sending students to the office to turn things in…this just happened between 7:45 and 8:00!!! Then we had mass…then I had a 7th grade math class where I interacted with at least 28 students…then I went to the computer lab to help with a Kindergarten tech class with 28 more kids that I only see once a week…then back for planning period, thank the Lord…then back for more Kindergarten tech with 27 kids I only see once a week…then to 8th grade math with 15 kids…then lunch, finally…then 6th grade math with 14 kids…and 6th grade math with 9 kids…and then finally homeroom with my 21…

In between that I am in the hall, talking with students and teachers…popping into other classrooms…without all of that 163 students have passed before me. I’ve probably spoken directly to most of the kindergarteners at least 4 or 5 times…this generation of littles struggles with using a mouse…couple that with the fact that they are just learning to read, there is a lot of questions!!! My brain is fried! I can’t even begin to think of when I would have said anything to a student to make them feel upset.

But somehow I have. I even talked with the parent and she couldn’t give me specifics. I’m hoping its just pre-teen angst. But I don’t like that I’m at the end of it. I’m hoping to fix it tomorrow. I’ll probably come off like a huge dork.

Best job in the world. Hardest one I’ve had πŸ™‚

I’m going to knit on that hat. That baby is growing!!

❀
Jenna

Wanting

I want to write. I don’t know what to write.

There was a social media presentation today at school for the kids. One thing that struck me about the presenter is how she said that so many people try to paint a perfect picture of their lives online. This creates the “Compare & Despair” thing that we have going on when we check out their pictures, posts, whatever. I try to not engage in that…I try to just look for ideas I can implement for myself. I know that everyone’s lives have their challenges and that no matter the pretty picture painted on the internet, it’s often not entirely true. I try to put out my best foot…while being authentic.

It’s how I try to live my life. I try not to get bogged down with the bad…try to not complain…or compare…or whatever. But I too get sucked in. Some days are easier than others to pass on the bitch session…I’d like to think lack of sleep contributes…but some days, you just feel like you get the short end of everything…like I’ve said before on here…everything just keeps coming in a steady stream.

I’ve signed my contract. I’m employed for another year. I’m praying my partner teacher signs her’s too…I’m not sure she will, I know this year has been hard for her…I’m hoping that her connection with the current 7th grade will keep her here…I need one more year for my own learning and sanity. I feel like I actually have someone on the same wavelength as me…someone I can talk to and I’m not worried about all the crazy social games that 36 teachers play like middle school girls. I was hoping that as an adult we would have outgrown that stuff, but maybe being around kids brings it all back out? I’m not sure, but some days the people on my team feel pretty slim…like me and my partner…maybe another bystander teacher or two…I’m not sure. I’m hoping that summer break will bring us all some healing and insight…maybe we can drop the ridiculous middle school girl drama pretense. I have a hard enough time keeping my students out of that shit, I don’t want to devote any time to keeping myself out of it!

Thankfully, I’ve had a good amount of knitting time lately. I also had the opportunity to try the Harvest Cardigan on my niece…it fits and she loves it! Only one tiny problem…she would like it finished yesterday πŸ™‚ That’s not exactly a problem, except I haven’t finished it. I’m hoping that I will soon.

I also spent some time over the last week adding my new-ish stash to Ravelry…my friend Korey loves to call me out when I’m browsing my online stash for something to new to cast on…I try to keep it updated so I can frequent the LYS less frequently…and knit down my stash…

I’ve got yarn for 5 sweaters. For me. I need to just knit the damn things. I’m not shrinking. I need to knit the sweater to fit the body I have.

I am being active. I signed up to run a 5k in a few weeks and I’ve been “running” every other day…I put running in quotes because its so slow…but it is the effort.

I’m holding off on starting the Whole30 until the summer…the website talks about feeling crabby and a lack of patience….things I cannot afford as a luxury until the school year ends. I don’t need to feel like crap these last few weeks if I can help it!

That’s better.

Glad I could share πŸ™‚

❀
Jenna

Let the Knitting Begin…

I made it to the break! YES!!! It’s been a wonderful few days off and I’m looking forward to the next week…I’ve got a conference to attend here in St. Louis…the NCEA, National Catholic Educational Association is having it’s annual conference in St. Louis and my principal signed us all up. It’s a great opportunity for some professional development…I’ve got some more hours to get before the year is up, but I do wish I had a real, full spring break that is unbroken. Oh well, perhaps next year!

I have been knitting a good bit! The Harvest CardiganΒ from TinCan Knits for my niece. I read the directions and I need 13 inches from underarm to the place to start the border on the bottom. Then I need to do sleeves…

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Nora’s birthday is in July…I should have this finished before then, but I’d like to give it to her then. I’m saying a prayer with each stitch that it will fit her!

I’m also near the end of these socks…they are the Bootstrap Socks by Lara Neel. I did have one sock finished, but it was a little snug so I pulled back to toe…now I need to knit a few more rounds on both socks before beginning the toe.

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Then the question is, what next? I thought about revisiting my Turia sweater…remember I knit the thing, attached the sleeves and decided to try it on…only to learn it was going to be too short 😦 So on Friday, I ripped the thing out all the way…except for the sleeves and resolved to knit the thing top-down…in theory, I’m just going to work the pattern backwards. That should work…right?

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On a different note, I’m contemplating a change. I keep seeing myself in pictures or the mirror and I don’t recognize myself. My picture of myself in my head does not match what I’m seeing. I’ve been trying, some of the time, to get to the gym. I always feel great after I go, just a matter of getting there. But I think I need a diet overhaul…I’m thinking of trying the Whole30.

Off to knit on this glorious Easter Sunday

❀
Jenna

Hard

Some days are just hard. Or maybe it’s the years too. I’m not sure. Let’s start with the days. Like today.

Everything just kept coming. Without stopping. Without any sort of slow down or let up. I’m supposed to be working on my portfolio to turn in for my yearly evaluation…don’t worry, it’s only my first year back and I’m not overwhelmed or anything. I find tons of time to do all the things I need and WANT to do. No, I’m not complaining…

When I started this blogging adventure, I wasn’t teaching. I was just married and moved to a brand new city, coaching some volleyball and taking orders at Starbucks…after I’d been on my own, teaching for two years. The transition felt like a backslide professionally, but a huge leap in the right direction for me personally. That backslide really puts things into perspective for me now.

So no, I’m not complaining. Maybe engaging in a little self-pity…a little “Oh poor me” moment…I know I just need to buckle down and get it finished, but I’m at a stand still.

My brain won’t go any further. I’m stuck on today and that it was hard.

I’m only 1.5 days away from a much needed “spring break.” I’d like to get this portfolio finished before then. It would have been nice to have the break to work on it. I think I’ve written the hard part. Now I just need to pick apart the “responsibilities of the educator’s position”, the “communication and interpersonal relationships” and “professional responsibilities and professional development” portions of my packet and decide how I’ve done those things this year. I’m sure I have, but man, my brain is having a hard time finding it all right now.

It’s awfully mushy up there.

As the school year winds down, I know I need to make this final push and start planning for the summer. And the next school year. I’ve been offered my contract again. Yay! I’m excited for some continuity…it’s amazing that it’s been since 2013 since I’ve had something constant in my life other than my husband and my cats…and maybe my knitting.

I’d like to pick up the needles again, but until the portfolio is done, I feel it would be irresponsible…just as writing on here is…but maybe this is a brain break πŸ™‚

❀
Jenna

A Day to Knit

I am so grateful today is Saturday. This was such a long, short week. Our school was on a “mini spring break” last Friday and Monday and the two four-day weeks have been tortuously long. I would rather have the whole five days or no days…this partial week stuff is exhausting! It takes the kids an extra day to get focused and before you know it the week is over…throw in a few field trips and schedule changes and a mass that runs long and a partner teacher who is out and you have a crazy “short” week.

Enough of that. I’ve been knitting a little bit each evening despite lacking the brain space for it. I thought if I could just knit 1 or 2 rows, maybe my brain would relax. It did, at least while I was knitting…then I would head to bed and school dreams would happen. Those are terrible because there is no way to end them or control them. And they haunt me for the next day…

As for the knitting, I’ve been working on my Decemberist shawl by Melanie Berg. It’s so luscious. I love it! I finished the lace chart and decided to add another couple of rows since I had the yarn and I love a big shawl…I just wanted to extend the chart another couple rows…which was a little more challenging than I thought it would be. These designers work hard and I think it is definitely worth the money paid for the pattern πŸ™‚

Anyway, I’m sure you’d love a look at the shawl.

Everything was going just wonderful until last night when I had a few too many beers and thought I’d try to knit…then I got off somewhere, decreasing when I shouldn’t have. I’ve located the hot spot of error, marked it with a shiny stitch marker and am going back to fix it…just a little tinking.

I’m hoping to have this thing off the needles today! I’m going to meet up with my friend Korey to knit for a while and I can’t wait! I’m going to pack more projects than I can ever really knit and there may even be a trip to Knitorious if we are lucky…

I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday…I’m hoping mine will be just what I need!